it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
