Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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