how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
