...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
