Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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