i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
