I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
