Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
