Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
