Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
