Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
