she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize