If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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