I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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