But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
