when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
