so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
