Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
