While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
