would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
