remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize