he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
