Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize