I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
