If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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