and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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