dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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