I will die if light touches me.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
