it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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