It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
