a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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