If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
