so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
