Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Congratulations! We have a period
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