dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
