Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I know her cup size but not her name....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
