All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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