Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
