i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
