Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize