piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got inside last night via doggy door
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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