I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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