Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
