New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize