i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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