White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
