Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
