Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
