did you get engaged???
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
