I can't watch pbs sober anymore
...so i touched it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
