you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
