i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
