So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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