I must be too annoying 4 u.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
