Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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