She's JV to your varsity
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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