If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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