I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
