I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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