pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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