They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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