I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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