She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
