You're completely useless in the revolution.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
high people should be assigned attendants
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
