Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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