Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
