i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
