are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
