I just made out with a guy for $7.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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