Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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