Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
